What's On Perry's Mind: The Regurgitator
by PS2wizard
Summary: This was inspired by a fan and during " Oh there You Are Perry". Perry has been reassigned to a new super villain named the Regurgitator. Will Perry like his new home and new nemesis. Will Phineas miss him? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

What's Perry Thinking About: Regurgitator

After a hard day fighting Doofenshmirtz, Perry enjoys a good nights sleep, or does he.

Perry's Mind: Ugh. How can I sleep with Phineas poking me with his nose, I better sleep with Ferb. (walks to Ferb) Finally, now to see if I can beat Doofenshmirtz in my dreams. Zzzzzzz. Take that Doofenshmirtz.

As Perry snoozes his watch starts beeping.

Perry's Mind: Huh? Drat! Better go see what they need.

As he climbs out of Ferb's arms, he replaces with wood.

Perry's Mind: (Groan) What could Doofenshmirtz possibly be doing at this hour? If its trying to exhaust me, he's winning. Uh-oh, maybe I'm stil drea-

As Perry trudges out, Candace , wearing a mud mask, trips over Perry.

Candace: Puhh. YOU!

Perry is now dripping wet, but at least awake.

Perry's Mind: Nice to see you, Ms. Mudface.

Candace grabs a hold of Perry and places him outside.

Candace: For an animal that doesn't do much you sure know how to make a mess of things.

As she leaves Perry mocks her.

Perry's Mind: "You sure know how to make a mess of things". This is coming from the girl who eats peach and pumpernickel sandwiches. I'm surprised Doofenshmirtz didn't use Candace as an –inator.

As Perry steps on the style to play his theme song, he lands in the usual seat and readies himself for his mission.

Major Monogram: Good morning Agent P. I've got bad news and good news.

Perry's Mind: All right, lets get this over with.

Major Monogram: The bad news is that you're being reassigned to a new, more evil super villain. His name, the Regurgitator.

Carl: You keep pushing him down, but he keeps coming back up.

Major Monogram: That's not funny Carl, it's just disgusting.

Carl: You laughed earlier.

Major Monogram: It was a pity laugh.

Perry's Mind: I thought it was funny.

Major Monogram: Anyway, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been downgraded to minor threat status and we just assigned Agen S to his case.

Perry's Mind: Oh boy Doofenshmirtz is going to be heart broken.

Major Monogram: The good news is that you're being relocated away from your home family to this new family in the quad-state area.

Carl: Psst. It's the other way around sir.

Major Monogram: oh yes yes. Of course. The bad news is the relocation and the good news is the new villain thing. Just make sure to take your belongings from the house when you leave.

Perry's Mind: What? This is terrible. Phineas and Ferb are going to be heart broken. Well, maybe they'll blame Candace.

Hours later, after packing his belongings he takes his last look at the family.

Phineas: Yeah but he's always here in the morning. I'd be devastated if something happened to him.

Perry's Mind: I'll miss you guys. Well, I better go and foil the Regurgitator.

As he turns away from the window he activates his jet pack and flies away.

Will Perry return? Can Agent S handle Doofenshmirtz? Is the Regurgitator really a funny name? Find out in Part 2.


	2. Chapter 2

As Agent P jets to the lair of the Regurgitator, he finds only a shady hotel.

Perry's Mind: This is the Regurgitator's lair? This makes Doofenshmirtz's lair look classy.

As Perry enters the motel, he sees the front desk and rings the bell.

Door man: Huh? Who's there? Oh, you must be that new agent. One moment

Perry's Mind: Thanks Mr. Bates

The door man rings the bell again and a secret elevator opens up with a blinking "lab".

Perry then takes the elevator to an underground lab where there is a button labeled " Do Not Push".

Perry's Mind: Now it makes Doofenshmirtz's lair look trashy. Oh a button, I guess he thinks I'll press it. How dumb does he think I am?

As Perry walks past the button, he steps on a pressure plate and a trap immediately captures and locks him. As Perry struggles to get out, the Regurgitator steps out.

The Regurgitator: I AM THE REGURGITATOR! (thunder) and you must be that new Agent here to foil my plans. Thanks for not pressing that button. People always used to catch me by surprise before I put that sign there. BUT YOU DIDN'T! (Thunder)

Perry's Mind: Now you tell me. Well he may be theatrical, but at least this guy doesn't sing.

Regurgitator: I bet you want to know my plan, well I'M NOT GOING TO TELL! The only person who would reveal their plan WOULD BE A FOOL!

Perry's Mind: Obviously you haven't been to the tri-state area.

Beep

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: ! (Thud) OW my Heinz's heinie. Look at this, all technology, a giant vacuum tube and that can't afford a throw pillow. Oh hello.

Regurgitator: I AM THE REGURGITATOR! (Thunder)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well okay my name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Duh-Duh. Uh I'm sorry I don't have the- where are all those lights coming from anyway? When you do that?

Regurgitator: You're that disturbed lunatic from Danville.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh you've heard of me.

Regurgitator: Yes AND YOU'VE HEARD OF ME. ( Thunder)

Doofenshmirtz: Seriously where's that coming fro- Oh look you've already captured Perry The Platypus, wow you do work fast.

Perry's Mind: Doofenshmirtz meet the Mr. Megaphone or the Regurgitator. Did you miss me? Or was Agent S too much for you?

Regurgitator: Why don't you fill out these forms and I'll consider you for a 3-year internship.

Doofenshmirtz: I am not here to apply for an internsh-. Oh you offer meternity league.

Regurgitator: You can start BY MAKING A FRESH POT OF COFFEE! (Thunder)

Perry's Mind: (Mockingly) I'd like a sandwich too Heinz.

Well Perry stop the Regurgitator? Will Heinz make the coffee on time? Or these question rhetorical? Find out in the final chapter! ( Thunder)


	3. Chapter 3

One fresh pot of coffee later.

Regurgitator: That's good coffee. YOU MUST DO BETTER OR ELSE! Now, has part of your job you also get a cubicle.

Doofenshmirtz: Really, I didn't even know that. Check me out Perry the Platypus, I got my own desk.

Regurgitator: Who said anything about a desk? You just get the cubicle. I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN CHAIR! (Thunder)

Perry's Mind: Whatever you do, don't ask for a break.

After one desk assembly, Doofenshmirtz crouches behind Perry the Platypus's cage.

Doofenshmirtz: Some villain, I'm way better than him. Look he doesn't even have a way for you to get out, where is the fun in that.

Perry's Mind: Maybe if you got some thunder and dramatic music you'd be just like him.

Doofenshmirtz: Well maybe he'll appreciate these rocket boots I made. Hey, Mr. Regurgitator, check out these rocket boots I made for you.

The Regurgitator looks at the new shoes and then tries them on flying above Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Regurgitator: These boots feel like they were made for a PLATYPUS! Well, these will have to do.

As the Regurgitator flies past Doofenshmirtz, the jets ignite Doofenshmirtz's hair on fire.

Doofenshmirtz: There, you see Perry the Platypus. That was pretty cool. Do you smell burnt hair? !

Perry's Mind: You sure did a good job Heinz. You're on fire today.

One flame put out later. Heinz works on a computer wearing a black shirt that has the Regurgitator's face on it and is "labeled Best Boss".

Doofenshmirtz: What are you looking at Perry the Platypus? This is a great job.

Perry's Mind: With benefits like being sucked into a vacuum tube, getting lit on fire, and carrying your own chair down a vacuum chair.

Doofenshmirtz: Look at all I've accomplished. Why just today I've organized his evil invoices, swept his evil lair, picked up his evil dry-cleaning, and I even had time to do this. See, best boss. And if I do a good job, I could get promoted to head assistant in just 3 months. Where are you going to be in 3 months? Huh. Huh?

Perry's Mind: If I'm lucky, out of this cage, being given a bathroom break or food, and hopefully deaf.

Suddenly the Regurgitator jumps out.

Regurgitator: Never mind the 3 months. I'll take care of him right now! (Thunder)

Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute; first of all, he's my nemesis. And you can't get rid of him now, where's the fun in that. You need to explain your whole plan to him. Don't you have a nemesis?

Regurgitator: Me. THE WORLD IS MY NEMESIS! (Nothing) Sorry, this doesn't always work. THE WORLD IS MY NEMESIS! (Thunder)

Perry's Mind: What am I, chopped liver?

Soon Doofenshmirtz has ended up scrubbing the floor.

Doofenshmirtz: Don't look at me like that Perry the Platypus. I know what you're thinking. I-I-I'm not some lowly intern, I'm an evil scientist. I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz and he should be bowing down to me.

Perry's Mind: Go get him tiger.

Doofenshmirtz: Hey you, Mr. Regurgitator. Let's get things straight.

Regurgitator: WHAT?

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, Okay. See that Perry the Platypus. Compromise.

Perry's Mind: You compromised that you are more of an assistant than an intern.

Doofenshmirtz: Who am I kidding, grrr. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it. OKAY Regurgitator, I've done everything for you. You see those hard to reach files up there. I've invented these rocket shoes just so you can reach them. And look at this and I put in the self-destruct button that you forgot.

Regurgitator: WHAT! Why is it counting down?

Doofenshmirtz: Okay I may have pressed it by mistake. But at least I didn't push the release button I installed inside Perry the Platypus's cage.

Then Perry looks at the button labeled "OPEN" and kicks it.

Regurgitator: GRRRRR. Look what you've done. You've pushed my button for the last time you disturbed lunatic.

Perry's Mind: Nobody calls my nemesis a lunatic.

Using his food bowl, Perry throws it to the switch that operates the vacuum tube and Hit the switch from "BLOW" to "SUCK", making the vacuum tube suck over the Regurgitator.

Regurgitator: Get ready to .

Perry's Mind: You just got served.

Doofenshmirtz: We did it, We did it. LOUIS STEVO, we did it.

With only a few seconds left, Perry uses the rocket shoes to carry Doofenshmirtz out of the lair right before it exploded. Then Perry's watch beeped.

Perry's Mind: I don't know what the Regurgitator was complaining about. These shoes feel great!

Major Monogram: Congratulations Agent P. You've defeated the Regurgitator. As a matter of fact he just landed in our prison. You can return to your host family and Dr. Doofenshmirtz is once again your nemesis.

Doofenshmirtz: So if we're enemies again, does that mean AHHHHHHHHHHHH. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS.

As Perry drops Doofenshmirtz to the ground, he lands on a throw pillow.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh now see there- a throw pillow, you guys do it right.

Perry's Mind: well now that is taken care of, time to head home. I wonder if Phineas and Ferb missed me? What's that noise?

Suddenly, Perry hears Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella sing "Come Home Perry".

Phineas: Perry, you know you are a boy's best friend!  
You're more than just a passing trend!  
You're like a treat from a candy store.

Oh Perry, we love you more than ice cream cakes  
We love you more than bugs and snakes!  
We love you more than all things mentioned before.

Oh Perry, you're extraordinary,  
You're kinda short and hairy,  
The color of a blueberry,  
Phineas, Ferb, Isabella: Yes Perry!

So come home Perry, Come home Perry,  
Come home!

Phineas: Hey Candace, why don't you sing one.

Candace: Um.

Oh Perry, I think it's kinda scary  
I can't find you anywhere-y,  
It fills me with despair-y?

Oh, Perry! I'm allergic to dairy,  
I'm gonna move to the prairie,  
And change my name to Larry!

Phineas: Larry?

Candace: I ran out of rhymes, alright?

Everyone: So come home Perry,  
Come home Perry,  
Come home!

So come home Perry,  
Come home Perry,  
Come home!

Candace: Come home Perry, come home!

Perry: (Growls)

Perry's Mind: Nice Singing Ms. Larry Mudface.

Candace: Oh there you are Perry.

Phineas: PERRY!

As everybody comes to hug Perry, Buford grabs the mike.

Buford: Good Job Larry.

Candace: Welcome home.

I hope you enjoyed this and I will try to post some polls on my account page and please vote. Thanks.


End file.
